Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Bryce Tantrums

Caroline's tantrums seem to be a bit more manageable in the sense that I can just leave her in a room to throw her fit, get it out of her system and she'll move on.  Hence my experience the other night where it was "easy" not to feed it.  I just had to walk out and keep myself from telling her to be quiet. 

Bryce though, wow, his tantrums are quite different.  Most of Bryce's tantrums lately stem from getting put into timeout for getting physical with one of his siblings.  We've noticed a sudden increase in how quickly he'll go after Caroline when he gets angry.  He's always had the streak in him as we went through a biting phase, but he's gotten more physical lately.  Caroline can push his buttons like no other, sometimes she barely has to say anything at all, but it sets Bryce into a rage where he starts yelling at her and then goes after her to push or hit her.  Instant timeout.  However, it's not until you put him in timeout that the REAL rage comes out.  He hates timeouts.  Has always hated them.  Not that any kid is supposed to like them, but Bryce cannot handle them.  I think mostly it's because Bryce hates to be alone.  Just like a puppy who wants to be right with you, that is Bryce.  So putting him on the steps to sit alone is torture.  He reverts to the same tactics as always in screaming that he has to go to the bathroom or that he's scared.  The bathroom trick is a difficult one since you don't want him to have an accident yet when you allow him to go, he won't go but when you make him sit back down he screams he has to go.  And on and on and on....  He also will NOT sit on the timeout spot so you put him back again and again and again and again.  It is exhausting.  Usually it ends up that the other parent has to intervene and that sometimes calms him down.  Don't even think about trying to put him up in his room and shutting the door.  You might as well be burying him alive.  He is scared to death to be alone in his room with the the door closed, even during the day.  I don't get it.  I haven't figured out how to "not feed" his tantrums yet.  Just being anywhere near him feeds his tantrum. 

I'm hoping that Caroline going back to school in a few weeks and hopefully figuring out something for him (I have a prospect I'm looking into!) will help ease his pain.  I think there has been a LOT of sister/brother time this summer that can sometimes amount to trouble.


Katie said...

Hrmmm... Emily's tantrums are insane. She is just mean and has rage towards me. She won't stay in time out and then laughs and runs out and hits us or taunts us for attention. Sometimes she is really awful and points her finger and gets really nasty. I swear it is the worst kind of tantrum. She's not afraid to be alone, she just wants control. She thinks she is in charge. It can go on for hours until she gives up and stays put. Last night she had one and I can't even remember why and then L took the girls out for a walk to escape and I went and took a shower. We all had to hide so as not to "feed the tantrum." Then it's like the flip gets switched and it's all back to normal and she apologizes. I hate her tantrums. Hate 'em. God help me when Lucy starts.

Unknown said...

I say when they are in time out that you set the timer for their age and if they get up or talk during that starts over again. I know easier said than done. Boy, I always say I miss my kids being little, but all of this makes me happy they are older. Now, you just take away the cell phone or in the case of the 2 older ones...threaten taking away the car. LOL