Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Lazy Whizzer

Ah yes, boys. Along with the wonder of having my 2nd child potty trained has also come the entertainment of having a boy potty trained. Bryce has stood up to pee like a big boy pretty much from the start. I hear it's a bit of a novelty and he wants to be like his daddy. Anyway, he's got a bit of a new talent that he does NOT get from his daddy and it's a trick we call the "lazy whizzer."

You see, Bryce is a bit lazy when it comes to using the bathroom. He waits until the very last minute and because he waits so long, by the time he gets there and is all ready to go, he has GOT TO GO. We see him kind of dancing around and doing the tell tale pee wiggle and we ask him if he has to go, which he always responds negatively to. But then, the urge hits him hard and off he goes running. Then, within seconds you hear that he must have made it because you can hear the wonderful tinkling sound. However, most of the time you realize that you never heard the toilet seat go up. Nor did the light go on. So you go to investigate and what do you see? Bryce standing in the semi-dark with both hands holding the toilet seat up at about a 45 degree angle while he lets his "hose" drain over the side of the toilet. CLASSIC. So not only is he "shooting in the dark" he is also doing it doing it hands free! (Gives "Look ma, no hands!" a whole new meaning!")

Now I guess I wouldn't mind if an older, more experienced child did this, but Bryce is notorious for getting distracted while doing things which means that this whole lazy peeing thing is a recipe for disaster. All it takes is one loud noise and Bryce has turned his head and sprayed everything. Or something to startle him and he drops the toilet seat on his sensitive man parts.

I will say though, the sight of all this usually makes me giggle since it's so innocent and because it drives Jason crazier than it drives me. If hearing your husband yell, "BRYCE! You've GOT to hold your penis with BOTH HANDS when you pee!" doesn't make you smile, not much will. Of course, if I'm the one cleaning up because of a missed target, I'm probably not smiling either.

I'm sure this will be something I always remember fondly and with a laugh as Bryce grows up. Just like I still smile when I think about how my brother as a very young boy would attempt to keep his eyes on the TV while he ran to the bathroom and left the door open while he looked over his shoulder. I think my mom rearranged the family room just to thwart his efforts.


Heather said...


Anonymous said...

Not having boys of my own and having a younger sister and never having to deal with the stand up peeing personally - this made me laugh so hard.

~ Viv

Unknown said...

LMAO at this! Ben's a "distracted whizzer"... I am forever wiping pee off the wall...