Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Bah Humbug!

As a Christmas baby, I usually have more Christmas cheer than the average person. I always wanted to start playing my Christmas music earlier than others and got excited seeing decorations going up. And before we had kids, I remember looking forward to the years when we would have kids at Christmas and seeing the joy through their eyes. But a few years ago I realized that as November began that my excitement for Christmas was waning. I first noticed it in 2005 when I got tired of Christmas music after a week or two of it.

And now, here in 2008 with 3 children, I wish we could skip the whole month of December. If I woke up tomorrow and it was January 2, I'd be happy. Thrilled even. I guess I hadn't completely thought about why I was feeling like this until last night when I was talking to my mom on the phone and telling her how little I wanted to decorate this year and how much I was dreading all the other holiday tasks. And she hit the nail on the head - I'm not looking forward to it because the holidays means MORE work for me. More stress and more things to accomplish while still having to accomplish the regular day to day things. Seriously folks, I feel like Jay and I are barely able to keep our heads above water these days with just the everyday tasks so I can't even fathom how I'll fit Christmas in this year.

Thankfully, we have wonderful family close so I'll never have to cook a big family meal or anything like that, but it's all the other stuff that goes along with it. Plus, I don't look forward to the fact that the holidays usually mean a totally messed up schedule for the kids which usually leads to difficult kids and frustrated parents. Joy to the World.

The only Christmas shopping I've done so far is the kids' toy shopping and that's because I did it all online. Each day during my pumping breaks at work, I would add things to their wish lists and then one night I just ordered it all. So at least that is done. But that doesn't take into account family/friend gifts which you really can't do all online. And don't even get me started on wrapping. Yuck. (At least I have about 3453534534 gift bags in my basement so the non-kid gifts can mostly be put in a gift bag.)

And it's not that I don't want to give people gifts, it's not that at all. I do like giving, but honestly, I don't even feel like receiving this year. I've been asked for gift lists and it's been very hard to come up with ideas beyond needing work clothes. (And on a side note, usually that means I get gift cards, which are great and appreciated, but, that means I have to go shopping. Which I haven't had time to do. I still have over $100 at Macy's from last year I haven't had time to spend, even though I REALLY need to get some new clothes.)

So yes, I'm tired and I'm still not over this cold but I just don't see how I can add one more thing to my plate. I feel like I am a plate at Thanksgiving that is packed with so many different kinds of food and piled up and then someone brings one more yummy sidedish to the table and you look at your plate and realize that even if you wanted to add it to the plate, there wouldn't be room unless you piled it on top of something else, thereby making the whole plate a disgusting mess - so it's just not worth it and you skip it because by the time you finish the plate, there's no room left in your stomach either.

How do you like that for a holiday anaology?

5 comments:

Katie said...

NO Bah Humbug! Girl you need a break. And you need to allow yourself a break! You are a mom of 3 and you are right, Christmas is madness for you!
That is why I am kidnapping you this weekend to spend that $100 at Macy's and have some lattes. Oh yes. You're due for some mom time and a christmas/birthday pep talk. Don't worry about the kids either. We'll think of something to keep them busy.

Call ya' later.

Lisa :) said...

I agree with Katie, Set aside time for YOU! It is hard being a mother of 3. (now, it has been a while since mine were as little as your three) but, I know where you are coming from! You better go spend that money at Macy's. Sometimes, gift cards will go down in their value if you hold them for too long. You may want to check on that! (another reason to go shopping!). Also, in this economy, you don't want to hold a gift card too long...who knows if that place of business will be around for too much longer!?!?! Go shopping and have fun! ENJOY!

Mama said...

Yay Katie! Great idea.

Anonymous said...

Erika,
you know all you have to do is ask for help...don't be afraid to need help. Those little ones won't be little for long and besides, as a parent, your "work load" with them doesn't go away, it just changes in how you take care of them. Kids are flexible so expect a little more from them and enjoy.
The colds are getting you down and that's understandable but stop the "stinkin thinkin" and just be thankful for all those little everyday things. Life won't seem so bleak. (I know exactly where you are coming from and in the end, I realize that I've made myself miserable...not the children nor life in general.)
Come on...pick yourself up & charge on. I love you very much!
You're an amazing woman...just don't expect so much out of yourself all the time.
Hugs, Mom

Erika said...

Like my Thanksgiving plate analogy, everything on my plate is good. Good kids, good husband, good job, good family. It's just a LOT of good things. So don't think I'm down on what I have. It's just managing it all.