Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Damn You "Love You Forever!"

I'm sure all the moms out there know the book Love You Forever. The ultimate mother tear jerker! I'll never forget that my mom gave it to my brother when we were little and she sat and read it to us and CRIED. At the time, I kind of understood why it was a little sad, but I didn't understand why it was THAT sad.

Fast forward to now, I hate that book. Well, I don't hate in the sense that I don't like the story - I just HATE that just the idea of it always makes me want to cry since I became a mom. I don't even know how it got into our house since I certainly didn't buy it, but for the past few years, anytime Caroline has asked me to read it to her, I always distract her and find something else knowing how it would probably make me cry.

But tonight, after dinner we went outside and for some reason she brought that book with her. She told me that while Bryce played on the playground, she wanted me to read her this book - she thought it was about a teddy bear or something. It was such a lovely, breezy evening, I figured maybe I'd be able to sit with her and read it and not get too upset. WRONG.

I got through the first 3 stages - newborn, 2 year old, and 9 year old without crying, although I did have to pause a few times and take a breath while reading the little poem. I guess my voice wobbled a few times because Caroline asked why I was laughing. However, I was doing pretty well and thought maybe I'd get through it. But then I got to the teenage years and I couldn't hold the tears in.

Now, I was NOT sobbing (and scaring my kid), just tears and it made it harder to read, but I managed. However, Caroline didn't know what to do as my tears clearly made her a little nervous. She kept asking why I was crying and then would pat my face and touch my tears. Then she would try to make me laugh and give me a hug - of course, she insisted that I HAD to keep reading. However, her little endearing tricks, somehow made it a little worse since it just made me realize again how much I love her and made the book that much more meaningful.

So I made it through the whole book with more tears than I'd hoped for, but I did keep reading the whole time. I never understood why that book made my mom cry like that - but I guess it takes becoming a mom to understand.

I don't plan on reading that again anytime soon - so I think I'm going to hide it from Bryce too.


bracken said...

we got that book as a baby shower gift and I do my best never to read it. Thankfully Sydney usually doesn't pick it out.

Brother Kev said...

That book is maternal Kryptonite.

Amy said...

Never heard of it...hopefully no one will get it for us since I'm a sap anyway!

Erika said...

Amy - seriously, do NOT read it right after having the baby. That would be the WORST time to read it. It's bad most any time but that book combined with newborn love would surely have you sobbing.

Anonymous said...

Yes, as you know Erika,I sob everytime I read it but it's such a poignant story. It captures the story of motherhood and the deep resounding love that a mother has for her child(ren) and the prayer that your child(ren)will have the same love for you. It also captures your mortality.
Yes it is heart wrenching but oh so beautiful.