Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Mourning for Duckie


At daycare yesterday, Caroline and Nikki (Cathy's 1st grade daughter) had a collision in the driveway. Not a big deal - Caroline ended up with a scrapped knee and both girls were very apologetic toward one another about the crash. Apparently, they hugged it out for a long time after the incident. Cathy put a regular old band aid on it and that was that. When I got home though, the first thing Caroline told me was that she didn't mean to push Nikki down. (Which was totally not what happened, but obviously, she felt bad about it.)

So we went to swimming lessons with the band aid intact and I noticed after the lesson was over, that it was gone, but didn't say anything about it. However, once in the tub, Caroline saw it was gone. She started crying and asked what happened to it. I told her that it must have fallen off in the pool and that it will just go down the drain.

Well, that was the WRONG thing to say because the sobbing began, and I'm not talking a tantrum crying, I'm talking pure, sad sobbing. "But Mommy, he was my friend. That band aid was my friend."

Aw, Caroline, I'm so sorry about your bandaid, if he was your friend, what was his name?"

Through sobs, "His name was Duckie, and he was my friend."

I couldn't believe how hard she was crying. It was grief I'd never seen before in her. She kept crying and inbetween sobs, she'd say "Maybe it will come back out of the drain and I can get it." or "I don't ever want to go back to swimming lessons and lose my Duckie."

Now I KNEW she was exhausted and this clearly fueled it, but man, I was just heartbroken over how sad she was. I went and got her a new bandaid and showed her and that calmed her down some. But even after she got her bath and I put the new one on, she still wasn't completely ready to "move on." She told me that her new band aid was the new Duckie but he wasn't exactly the same.

When we went into her room, I asked her if she had other friends beside Duckie, and she said that Nikki was her friend and that she loved her so much and missed her. So I'm thinking that this loss of her band aid from her collision with Nikki had something to do with that. I know she just loves Nikki and that Nikki really likes her too.

All of this over the loss of a band aid, and you wonder why Jason and I never want to get pets???

1 comment:

Christine said...

OMG- I have sooooo been there, done that!!! Poor Caroline and Duckie- he will be sorely missed :( Anya has soooo many dreams where "it's 90 years and Edna the cat has died". As much as I'm ready to be done with pets- it will be a huge trauma for us. Where do they come up with this stuff????