Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Misery Loves Company

So we are officially in the middle of the "terrible twos." I always hated that term and thought maybe it was something people exaggerate. Nope. In fact, I think it is somewhat understated. I think the thing I always kind of assumed that this stage in a toddler's life is is a consistently bad time. But actually it's only some of the time and most of the time it's fine and Caroline is a sweetheart and totally amazing me - but when it's bad, it's REALLY REALLY bad. That is the part no one tells you.

They also don't tell you how personally you will take it when your toddler openly defies you or "talks back" to you. (In Caroline's case this is a very rude raspberry she blows at you when she doesn't want to do what you ask.) They don't tell you how you'll feel like you are making no progress in their discipline as you strain to be as consistent as possible and follow through with consequences for their actions. They don't tell you that you will be a little depressed that your child is acting like this and doesn't seem to care a flip about what you are asking/telling them to do. They don't tell you that you will worry that your child is turning into brat and that you will be constantly worried that they will act out in public and cause everyone to think you are a lousy parent. They also don't tell you that temper tantrums have no rhyme or reason and will catch you off guard and can probably rival a 4th of July fireworks display.

And b/c "they" don't tell you much beyond the fact that your kid will have frequent (and easilily provoked) temper tantrums, you think that all the other stuff they are doing is something that no other kid their age is doing and that you are a lousy parent.

All I can say is THANK HEAVENS for my moms buddy group that I've been in contact with since I was pregnant with Caroline. We all 7 have kids almost the exact same age and it's so funny b/c just this week we ALL had a post about how absoultely frustrated we are with our kids. One of the other moms (Christine) has even told some stories about her daugher, Anya, that I swear are taken from my house. We're finding out that they are even throwing tantrums about the exact same things!! So while we're all kind of miserable right now and feeling mentally beat up by our toddlers, at least we know that it's totally normal and nothing we are doing particularly wrong.

1 comment:

Katie said...

Ugh, the thought of Emily's tantrums becoming worse and more defiant scares me. I'm so glad you are honest about what it is REALLY like b/c then I know what to expect and that I am not alone. I hate parents who lie and say their kids are angels all of the time. Just hang in there and stay strong!